Seattle is quickly becoming known for its Los Angeles-style traffic jams. To pay homage to our fellow citizens, we’re highlighting the types of drivers we find while sitting in Seattle traffic throughout the week.
2017 has already seen a taco truck open for business while stopped in the fast lane of I-5 in south Seattle, due to such heavy congestion. (We’ll take two ground beef tacos with extra cheese). Are you among the commuters creating new market opportunities for Seattle’s food trucks? Read on to see if you’re guilty!
The Left Lane Lounger
A mainstay of Seattle traffic, this person takes an “ignorance is bliss” approach to life and drives in the left lane without any sense of urgency. He or she seemingly misses the large “Keep Right Except To Pass” signs that discourage this Zen practice.
You can identify the Left Lane Lounger by their ability to pace with the slow lane while taking up precious real estate in the fast lane. They force others to appreciate the roadside views while traveling 5 mph under the speed limit.
Namaste, our peaceful friends.
The Two-Lane Texter
You can find the Two-Lane Texter weaving back and forth between their lane lines like they’re playing Pong instead of driving. At first, you may think that this person had one too many margaritas (#TacoTuesday). But alas! On closer inspection, you’ll see that they’re updating their Snapchat while barreling down the 405.
(Safety tip: Studies show that texting while driving is more dangerous than driving while intoxicated. At TRED, we encourage readers to put down their cell phones while behind the wheel. But when you’re stopped, feel free to shoot us some messages! We’re suckers for a good face-swap fail).
The Double Shot Espresso
This driver has somewhere to be NOW! We can only assume that this driver is late to work, hyped up on way too much Starbucks, or both. He or she flies down the highway like they’re on the set of the next Fast & Furious film and weaves through traffic like a stunt driver.
When the GPS estimates a 1:13 pm arrival, the Double Shot Espresso driver confidently plans to get there by 1:08 pm. Seattle Traffic? Challenge, accepted.
The Free Spirit
The Free Spirit likes to sport a plethora of bumper stickers. These range from “Coexist,” to “Dog is my God,” and “Veganism Saves.” Bonus points are awarded for decade-old Obama stickers and KEXP fundraiser announcements.
This person likes to expand the minds of other drivers and enjoys making an impact on society by doing so. He or she typically has a reloadable Orca Card on their keychain and enjoys a good library book on the weekends. The Free Spirit can often be found obeying all traffic laws while wearing Folk Life Festival apparel from 2012.
The Preoccupied Parent
What else but a minivan? When the door to this bad boy slides open, you can often see soggy Goldfish crackers, lost socks, and an adult’s sanity come pouring out the side. Typically equipped with in-car entertainment devices, it makes for an epic commute if you can slip in behind this one and catch the end of Beethoven 2.
This driver usually has a crooked “Baby on Board” sign hanging from the back window. They might also have an “Honor Student of the Month” license plate frame. But don’t let that combo fool you. This parent has somewhere to be before nap time and can maneuver like a champ.
The Adventure Seeker
You can identify the Adventure Seeker by their ski rack and/or mountain bike rack, depending on the time of year. This driver upgrades to all-weather floor mats and doesn’t let a little rain hold them back from where they want to be.
The back corner of their windshield likely houses a Washington State sticker with the phrase “Wanderlust” below it. Their wallet houses an REI membership card. The interior of their SUV features half-full Nalgene bottles in a variety of earth tones.
This driver likely bookmarked our “Best Cars for Car Camping” post last week and is looking forward to a trip to Seaside this summer.
The Proud 12
Seattle loves their Seahawks. This driver happily welcomes Seattle traffic, because it’s a great time to bond with other fans. Their blue “12” flags fly proudly from the sides of their F150, like a true symbol of freedom. Meanwhile, the vinyl decals along the sides of their door panels have been recently buffed for ultimate shine and visibility.
You’ll always know if you cut this driver off. You’ll hear their upgraded, aftermarket horn that’ll scare the Starbucks right out of you.
The Caffeinated Cruiser
One hand on the wheel, another on a 16 oz. cardboard cup of coffee with two pumps of caramel, a splash of almond milk, extra foam, and a pinch of nutmeg (#blessed). This driver likes to hang out in the middle lane, listen to some KISS 106.1 and dance along to 24K Magic by Bruno Mars. The Caffeinated Cruiser may need help parallel parking and likely has a 5-15 pound dog at home.
No matter what type of driver you are, TRED is here to help! You spend a lot of time in Seattle traffic, and we want you to enjoy the vehicle you spend it in. This is so important to us, we do everything we can to ensure that you have a smooth buying and selling experience. Every vehicle that we sell is backed by our 150-point inspection and goes through a full CARFAX record review.